i sat there thinking, it's been such a long time. i felt as though you never even were in my life. i know, i should feel bad, and i do, but i'm losing all the memory i have of you. it's been only three years, three long years, and already, my memories of my mother, are disappearing. it saddens me, it really does. my mother passed away in 2005, it's 2008, what in the world is going on? i miss my mother terribly, i feel like i've hit rock bottom. the only person that was able to get me out of this sad lonesome pit was her. but now, i feel like i'm going to be here for a while. i have been wanting an end to life recently, it's like every weekend, it comes about. i absolutely hate it, for it is absolutely ridiculous. but these feelings don't just go away, i've been dealing with suicidal tendencies since 7th grade, and i have attempted it a bunch of times. i once wrote a blog all about my suicidal tendencies, apparently, no one on myspace took it seriously. they all commented about how good i wrote it and whatnot. from that blog, however, i did get a bunch of messages, from people who were actually worried about me. i have a problem, i want to feel wanted..way too much. if not, i lower myself, i bring myself down to where i'm at right now, rock bottom. one day, i hope to climb these rocks, to the top of the mountain, where i will be able to live.